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Barnard Castle

by Nicky Spesh

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If Boris Johnson and Dominic Cummings could rap.

lyrics

See up in Barnard Castle
These fucking peasants
They point the fingers
and expect me to be pleasant
I dabble in eugenics,
You’re all pathetic,
We can engineer a better human race
Meddle with genetics

Herd immunity, protect the economy,
and if that means some pensioners die
well that's too bad

did we save the aged or the economy?
oh wait, we ruined both
Boris say “it wasn't me”

We always said the science, like it was absolute
and needed no interpretation, something you can't refute

make sure I sound clever, I read a book and blog about it
and then modify my entry so they never doubt it

yeah I predicted it,
bitch I fucking scripted it
snitch don't be twisting it,
I'm testing my eyesight

meanwhile I'm flogging data, your nothing but a hater
when I'm finished politics, they'll sort me out a job later

paid a nice sum, better than a paper bag
osbourne, black rock, pensions, get swag
singing from my hymn sheet
singing from my hymn sheet
singing from my ching cha ching cha ching sheet

they thought me a boffin but now they count the coffins
I'm like a pussy pimple all I did was simple

I can repeat it journalist
if your ear works
Facebook analytics
make them fear Turks

and at the weekend I get uber tipsy
dress up as Surkov and write my name Dubovitsky
a cabinet of vain chumps, Boris can we train thugs?
Maybe bring the army in and have them aim slugs

Join me for some easy money, they need pleasing
buy bonds, print cash, quantitative easing

we're under weather but one day for us it'll be sunny
while you'll be sleeping rough
write that on a fucking bus

credits

released June 23, 2020

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